It is about that time we welcome the holiday season, a flurry of gift-giving holidays and holiday parties that kicks off right after Halloween, develops until Thanksgiving, and continues to gain speed until the end of the year. Unfortunately, while this season is designed to evoke thoughts of love and joy, it is also a precursor to holiday stress for many. Indeed, according to research done on this site, more than 80% of us find the Christmas season to be “very” or “extremely” stressful—that puts navigating the holidays on par with asking for a raise! So what is it that has us all so worked up?
Taking on Too Much
As the adage goes, everything is in moderation. The issue with the holiday season is that we frequently have too much of a good thing. While stress is vital for our survival and passion for life (researchers refer to this pleasant sort of stress as “eustress”), too much stress is detrimental to our mental and physical health. Too many activities, even if enjoyable, can lead to excessive holiday stress and leave us feeling overwhelmed rather than fulfilled.
Lots of Eating, Drinking, and Spending
Many people eat, drink, and be merry—often to excess—due to an overflow of parties and gift-giving occasions. Unfortunately, the urge to overindulge in spending, our favorite desserts, or drink can cause many people to experience long-term stress from dealing with the consequences ( weight gain, debt, memories of humiliating conduct) that can persist long after the season has passed. Furthermore, in these tough economic times, choosing the perfect gifts can be stressful in and of itself, and carrying holiday debt is a habit that far too many people inadvertently bring on themselves yearly. The stress associated with it can endure for months.
Too Much Closeness
During the holidays, extended families tend to congregate. While this can be beautiful, even close-knit families can overdo it, making it difficult for family members to keep a healthy balance of bonding and alone time. In addition, many families often assign duties to each member based on who they used to be rather than who they are now, which may sometimes bring more sentiments than love to these reunions.
Not Enough Cohesion
Many people find this to be a difficult time of year, especially those who have lost lovers or parents because it reminds them of their loneliness. As the world appears to rally around family, those who rely on friends for support may feel abandoned and alone.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
A frequently unnoticed concern associated with the Christmas season is a result of the seasons changing from fall to winter. Many people are impacted to some degree by seasonal affective disorder as daylight diminishes, and the weather forces many of us to spend more time indoors. It’s a subtle but very real syndrome that can cast a fog over the entire season, causing stress and misery during a time when people expect to feel exactly the opposite.
Holiday Stress Reduction
The good news is that Christmas stress is predictable. Unlike many other negative pressures in life, we can predict when holiday stress will occur and when it will end, and we can make plans to decrease the amount of stress we encounter and the destructive impact it has on us. Here are some suggestions to help lessen holiday stress before it kicksoff so that it remains positive rather than overpowering.
Determine Your Priorities
Before becoming overwhelmed by too many things, consider which traditions have the most significant influence and eliminate unnecessary ones. For example, if you are usually overwhelmed by shopping, sending visiting relatives, cards, and other activities that leave you exhausted by January. In that case, you may want to reconsider your priorities, choose a few favorite activities, and enjoy them while skipping the rest.
If you can’t bear missing out on sending cards, cooking, seeing people, and doing everything else that usually exhausts you, you might be better off including all of these things in your calendar, but on a lesser scale. Sending cards, for example, but only to people with whom you have regular contact. Alternatively, do not put a personal remark or letter with each one and find a way to make things easier. You may appreciate things that are essential to you and your family more if you find methods to cut corners or tone them down.
Eat Wisely During the Holidays
We may want to look and feel our best during the holidays (especially if we’re around people we don’t see often). Still, there is a strong desire for tasty food, scrumptious desserts, and a break from our regular routines—all of which can add up to binge eating, emotional eating, and other aspects of unhealthy eating. So plan ahead of time by becoming aware of your triggers, do all you can to have some nutritious food on hand for each meal, monitor your intake, and embrace mindful eating this year.
Change Your Expectations of Community
It’s critical to be conscious of your limitations when interacting with family and friends. Consider prior years and attempt to determine the amount of togetherness you and your family can tolerate before experiencing negative stress. For example, can you restrict the number of parties you attend or host and the time you spend at each? Can you reduce your time with family to a shorter time but still feel memorable and joyful? It’s good to put limitations on what you are and are not willing to do when dealing with problematic relatives, such as foregoing visits or limiting them to every other year.
If almost everyone you know is spending the holidays with family, you can consider volunteering to aid people less fortunate than yourself. Many people find these encounters immensely rewarding, and your attention will be drawn to what you have instead of what you lack.
Make a Schedule
Putting your plans on paper might show you how practical they are in black and white. You’ll be able to see if you’re attempting to cram too much in if you discover a planner filled with hours of scheduled activities, being realistic, and adding driving time and downtime. Begin with your highest priority to eliminate the less important activities. If at all feasible, arrange some time each day to go for a walk in nature since exercise and exposure to sunlight can significantly reduce or even eradicate the symptoms of SAD. (If the weather or other conditions make this impossible, try to find some time to sit near a window and gaze out; even a few minutes of exposure to natural light via a window pane can help.)
Take a Breath
This may seem obvious, yet we often forget to take deep breaths and provide our bodies with the oxygen they require. Of course, it’s ideal if you have ten minutes to practice breathing meditation, but simply pausing to take a few deep breaths can lessen your negative stress in minutes. If you envision yourself breathing in tranquility and breathing out pressure, the benefits of this practice will be even more evident.
Kim’s Final Thoughts…
The holidays are when we focus on others by buying gifts, visiting, and making meals, but it is more vital than ever to find time for yourself during stressful times. So if you know the holidays will be stressful, plan some “me” time and set time aside for self-care.
